April 11th. This is when it begins. I will be making one of my last, no responsibility to anyone, voyages. That's right. Not to work. Not to my family. Not to school. Not to a semi-questionable woman. Nothing.
April 11th marks the day I will exit my extended family's place in rural Pennsylvania, essentially my own Betty Ford clinic. A place where I have been extensively job hunting, lifting, tweeting, and DVD'ing. Just straight training. Training for this has been akin to this:
Can it be done? Yes. What are my goals? This basically is going to be my "rich kid sojurn across Europe summer before college" trip. Will it expand my horizon? Most likely. However, this is not my first rodeo. I am well within my young man's veteran status. I am no longer the fresh faced recruit Private Blackburn from Black Hawk Down about to fall out of the Black Hawk helicopter upon entering my first barn, no I am Eric Bana.
First up will be Pittsburgh. Your essential stop over. Get a few quick jabs in. A refresher course in the art of bachelorhood. This is a lay up. Getting in gear for the journey ahead. This stop will to tie up a few loose ends. My goodbyes have already been said, but this will basically be like my general store before hitting the Oregon trail.
Next up will be the journey to NYC. NYC will be the wild wild west. I have friends sporadically spaced across the Long Island/Brooklyn area. What will I be doing? No idea. Could I stay out all night? Very possible. Could I find the love of my life in NYC on this blessed night? Of course. Let's hope she looks like this:
....and not this:
In any case that will be the biggest obstacle and unknown of my trip. I have absolutely no clue where I will be staying or what I will be doing when I am there but basically will just be hoping for this:
But if I have the storied and played out romance of one night in NYC, I'll be hoping for more of this:
Following this pre-determined night of multiple variables, it will be off to the homeland of Boston for at least a night or two. I expect my return to be on par with any of the historical returns home...
Ahh hometown of beantown. Looking forward to hitting up Quincy Market with some old friends, family and perhaps some Boston rappers, who knows. Again, my goal is to find my special lady...
....and not
Finally I will make the final push to the hollowed grounds of Saint Anselm College. This is my Mecca. I have spent more time on this campus than anywhere else in my life. That's no lie. And not just cuz I didn't graduate on time either. Seriously, I still know kids there. I expect my arrival to be akin to Caesar marching on Rome. Like Odysseus returning home to Ithica. Michael Keaton showing up to bang Michelle Pfeifer...
Once again, I will try valiantly to find my dream student companion...
....and not, um, her
And then it's done. But who knows. I go back to these places so often, I could probably do it again. But not all at the same time. The key is not to make it a yearly farewell tour...like someone else I know.
Anyways, when the journey begins I will be VLOGGING my journey via my soon to be purchased flip cam. Stay tuned, and I will continue to train...
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