Thursday, March 10, 2011
Tweet from a Porn Star: The Holy Grail of teases?
Okay, this I am hoping will be the piece de resistance of my revamped blog. I have been waiting quite some time to write about it and with my new found unemployment, the time is now.
When you first discover Twitter, like always, you gravitate to trying to find interesting people to follow that you know and like. Athletes, Entertainers, Comedians, etc. But then you begin to realize that there are shit tons of "adult" entertainers on Twitter. Like from an industry point, percentage wise I think there are more porn stars on Twitter than there are Brits with tooth decay. It's astounding. Like literally, they are all on there AND they are responding and posting tons of pictures. It's pretty crazy because you can click on their twitpics and technically not be going to an adult site. Pretty crazy.
Side note: NFL and NBA players follow a ton of porno chicks, like, they go hand in hand, it's pretty funny. You don't see Tiger Woods following any of them, nor any other professional golfer, MLB, NHL, MLS or anyone else. Nope, the only famous famous people following the likes of Jenna Jameson, Tori Black and Alexis Texas are dunking or scoring touchdowns.
Anyways, that being said, unless they are some of the major stars of the Adult industry, if you tweet them, they will tweet you back. They have low enough self esteem already, so basically they post pictures or obnoxiously raunchy tweets and just wait for the compliments to flood in, similar to that of Charlie Sheen or Ice T's wife.
So of course I tweet one of my favorite actresses of all time, Phoenix Marie with an innocent tweet if whether or not she would be in the area. Minutes later, what to I get back but this:
Like literally, from the mouth of babes....what the hell. For fuck's sake all I did was put a sepia tone on my icon image and have a kick ass background. Who would have thought it? I know I'm good looking, but I'd be damned to say I was Brad Pitt, but I do know for a fact I am better looking thany any dude in any twilight movie:
So I did the only natural thing and made sure to 1) Pay her a compliment and 1A)Make sure it wasn't robotic....and sure enough it wasn't.
Pure shock and awe. Is this really happening? I was stunned. I turned to my roommate and his dog to explain my pure excitement/surprise/dumbfoundedness for what had just transpired. Even they were surprised after the intial "behind the berlin wall of twitter" message.
So I waited and waited and waited. Finally 30 minutes later I responded. And then nothing. A day later, another response asking when she was coming to Pittsburgh. A week later saying hey what's up. Nothing. Had I lost her interest that quickly? Did she do this with most guys on Twitter? These things we will never know. And you know what, I am kinda glad. It was moment in time in which I crossed the threshold of being an ordinary citizen and grazing the mecca of women that are paid to be beautiful....and ahhhh...other stuff. So what can I take from this? That strippers, chicks at bars and baristas aren't trying to get cash out of me? I should believe women's lies are actually true advances? I know that it has to put me up another point in the 1 to 10 scale for attractiveness from 7.5 to 8.5. But outside of that, I will never know....
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